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Good Grief

by Bells Larsen

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alyssafirefly
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alyssafirefly This album rips out my heart and then heals it right back up in the best way possible. It'll tear at the darkest parts of you and add light to show you an optimistic future. It's beautifully written and unbelievably calming and I love it. Favorite track: People Who Mean So Much To Me.
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1.
Wasps 01:19
2.
Tongue Tied 03:34
3.
4.
Teenage Love 03:49
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
Cara 03:45
10.
Ribcage 02:42
11.
12.

about

Bells Larsen started writing their debut album, Good Grief , at the age of nineteen, during what would prove to be the start of a hugely transitional time in their life. In the five years since these songs began to take shape, Larsen has moved across the country, studied philosophy at a small liberal arts college, dropped out, and then moved across the country again. Larsen’s life was also put on pause after the sudden death of their first love. Since this person’s passing, Larsen has been writing songs that attempt to express this person’s spirit and create a tangible container for their memory. “This loss left so many people with so many unanswered questions, myself included,” Larsen admits. “I haven’t always arrived at answers to these questions, but songwriting has provided me with a way to at least ask.”

While demoing this collection of songs at an artist residency in Banff, it dawned on Larsen that the experience of loss exists outside of losing someone; we mourn places and memories, too. “The definition of the word “loss” changes all the time for me,” says Larsen. “What does it mean to have truly lost someone? Something? If I lose something, how do I know for certain that I’ve lost it for good? As I reflected on the experience of losing my first love, I wrote songs that allowed me to explore these trains of thought.” The result was a record that bridges the gaps between I, you, and we to narrate an intentional mediation on what it means to experience grief as young queer person.

The first voice we hear on Larsen’s album is that of their first love; “Ready?” she asks. As if to answer her, Good Grief then begins with an audio recording from 2013 of Larsen and their high school friends singing Sufjan Stevens’ song "The Predatory Wasp Of The Palisades Is Out To Get Us!" around a campfire. “Loss is a wasp’s sting,” says Larsen. “This Sufjan song has been dear to me for a long time, but I understood it very differently after my first love passed away.”

When Larsen was recording Good Grief, they sought out old voice memos to use as interludes in between songs. “I wanted to make the music sound more human,” Larsen admits. “Eventually, I found the campfire recording from the tenth grade, and I was immediately struck by the fact that the most prominent voice is that of my first love.” Larsen edited the clip down to about thirty seconds in order to highlight several lines in the song which are, to them, the most poignant with regards to the theme of loss. Larsen shares: “When the record starts and my ex says ‘ready?’, part of me knows that she’s asking my friends and I if we were ready to sing around that fire all those years ago, but there’s also a part of me that feels like--in some way--she’s asking grown-up-me if I’m ‘ready’ to share my songs about grief now.”

The album quickly unfurls like a bildungsroman, touching on love, loss, growing up, growing old, moving on, and moving forward. Songs like “Teenage Love” and “Sweater Weather'' conjure vivid landscapes of memory through Larsen’s lyricism, which is conversational and inviting, while being intimate and candid. Community and friendship are central to the song “People Who Mean So Much To Me”, which features vocals from Larsen’s close friend and fellow musician, Leith Ross. Larsen explains: “this song is composed of vignettes about three distinct relationships that I had fostered throughout the span of a single year. I wrote it during the pandemic, while I was really missing community.” To Larsen, the song is a reminder to them that, even when they’re feeling lonely and isolated, they will continue to cross paths with wonderful people and build meaningful relationships.

Larsen co-produced the record with fellow musician Graham Ereaux who performs under the name Devarrow. Good Grief was recorded at Ereaux’s studio in Liverpool, Nova Scotia, where Larsen and Ereaux were joined by multi-instrumentalist Evan Matthews. “There was such an advantage to bringing my songs to two people who are not intimately connected to my experiences. Neither Evan nor Graham listened to my songs as artifacts of grief, but rather, they heard them as compositional elements.” With the record in hand, Larsen enlisted Howard Bilerman (Leonard Cohen, Arcade Fire) to mix the record, back home in Montreal.

The five years that it took to write Good Grief encompass so many aspects of Larsen’s life, capturing a coming-of-age story and documenting an ongoing process--of an artist and of a human being--as they try to navigate the terrain of their existence and that of those around them. It’s an experience of their loss but also honours the person that was lost to them. The record closes with a reprise of the “Wasps” audio recording, marrying the past and present as the old voice memo slowly fades into a newer one. Present-day Larsen sings, “I can tell you I love her each day”: a testament to the fact that their grief is-- finally--good.

credits

released September 9, 2022

All songs written by Bells Larsen
Arranged by Graham Ereaux [7] and Bells Larsen

Produced by Graham Ereaux and Bells Larsen
Recorded and engineered by Graham Ereaux
Mixed by Howard Bilerman
Mastered by Harris Newman
Additional engineering by Ethan Creer [5]

Maude Christie: Audio clip [1, 12]
Graham Ereaux: Synths [1, 4, 7, 10], piano [7]
Cara Farquharson & The Real Lesbians of OC: Vocals [1, 12]
Paolo Furgiuele: Synths [5]
Georgia Harmer: Additional vocals [3, 5]
Bells Larsen: Vocals and guitar
Evan Matthews: Bass, percussion, piano [3, 5], synths [3, 6, 9, 11], electric guitar [3, 5, 6]
Leith Ross: Additional vocals [11]

“The Predatory Wasp”
Words and Music by Sufjan Stevens
© 2005 Sufjan Stevens Music (ASCAP)
All Rights Administered by BMG Rights Management (US) LLC.
Used by Permission. All Rights Reserved.
BMG Gold Songs administers 100% for the world obo Sufjan Stevens / Sufjan Stevens Music (ASCAP)

Cover photo taken by Dad

ROOTS trademark is owned by Roots Corporation and used under license.

Design by Erik M. Grice

Special thanks to Fred Stride, Pam McCaffrey, Nate Ferguson, Reagan Maude, Deb Thompson, Andre Wefers, Annie Ilkow, Ben Duffield, Jake Duffield, Britney Shelley, Geoff Williamson, Uncle John, David Speigel, Devon Stride, Kass Byrne, Marisa Larsen, Roger McNaughton, Patrick Collins, Sophie Collins, Sarah James, and Norma Rose for helping me head to Banff shortly before the world shut down in March 2020. Thank you also to Ms. Kim, leZlie lee kam, Brian Cope, Dan Bran, and Julia Cameron: I'm so grateful for all that you've taught me. Thanks to Sarah, the North Street house, Graham & Chaeli, and Café Résonance for making it possible to record during such a weird time. Thank you to all the musicians and artists listed above. This project wouldn't have been made without your care and brilliance. Last but certainly not least, thank you to the Arbeid-Rose and Larsen families for your endless love and support.

This record is dedicated to anyone who has experienced a loss in their lives, be that of a literal or figurative nature.

-BL

We acknowledge that this album was written and recorded on ancestral and unseated territory of the Anishinabewaki, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Kanien’kehà:ka, Mi’kmaq, and Mississaugas of the Credit First Nations.

We acknowledge the support of the Canada Council for the Arts. Nous remercions le Conseil des arts du Canada de son soutien.

This project was funded in part by FACTOR, the Government of Canada and Canada’s private radio broadcasters. Ce projet est financé en partie par FACTOR, le gouvernement du Canada et les radiodiffuseurs privés du Canada.

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